Just Dreaming
by Kioko Yasu
Summary: He's my childhood best friend whom I've never physically met. He hates my guts because four years ago I inadvertently got him thrown into a mental institution. Not to mention the whole burning his house down thing. AU AxelRoxas
1. 1308

This story has been revised. Look for the Author Note at the end of the next Chapter.

* * *

Journal Entry of Patient #1308 Roxas Sugara:

_Ever since I was little I had an imaginary friend. Only he didn't seem to be your 'normal' imaginary friend. While I was awake he'd show up, kinda ghost like. I was the only one who could see and hear him. He'd tell me stories about his life and his family. He had his own sense of humor, style, and opinions. He had his own name, too. It wasn't something i gave him. Axel._

_But the really weird thing was that, when I slept, I dreamed I was at his house. I was like a ghost there. He could talk and interact with people, but the only one who knew I was there was Axel. And when he came to me, he always said that he was sleeping too._

_As I got older, So did he. Around the age of ten kids started teasing me for still having an imaginary friend. That was when he first offered to leave. When we were really upset with each other, we could sleep without seeing the other. Apparently Axel believed he could do it permanently. At the time I couldn't imagine my life without him; he was my best friend. I begged him to stay and he happily agreed._

_When I was twelve Axel convinced me to try this 'really cool experiment' with fire. He swore it was safe because he had done the same thing himself. It went wrong. Really wrong. I burned over half of my house down and nearly killed myself. I still remember Axel's face that night. His green eyes wide with fear for me yet sparkling with a strange look of awe as he watched the flames devour everything. I heard him whisper "That wasn't supposed to happen. . ."_

_When pressed, I admitted that Axel had convinced me to do it. My parents flipped out. I had stopped telling them about my imaginary friend when I had started being teased for it. When they found out I still saw him they became convinced I was insane and arranged for me to be sent to a shrink right away._

_Axel didn't show up for another two weeks. By then I was spending a trial period in a juvenile crazy bin. I was so pissed off at him I started screaming and throwing things at him. I told him he had ruined my life and I never wanted to see him again._

_Looking as if I had ripped out his heart and stomped on it, he whispered "I'm sorry Rox. I never meant for any of this to happen. Don't worry about me, I won't bother you again." Doctors came rushing in to restrain me as he faded away. I was screaming my hate for him long after he'd disappeared from my sight. _

_I never saw him again. I still feel kinda bad. Even if he wasn't real, he had been my best friend as far back as I could remember and that was the good-bye I gave him. My shrink says it's pointless to feel remorse for someone who never really existed. I've made such a recovery that I should just let it go and continue to get on with my life. But, you know, I never really hated him. I wonder if he knew that?_

_Roxas Sugara_


	2. Reunion

This story has been revised. Please make sure you start at the beginning.

* * *

Reunion

Roxas Sugara sat in his 12th grade English class cursing first period. What idiot adult thought up the brilliant idea that kids should be forced to learn at 7 o'clock in the freaking morning? Honestly.

"Earth to Roxas," Hayner called, interrupting Roxas' view of the window with a waving hand. "Come in, Roxas."

He gave an unintelligible mumble and batted his friend's hand away.

"Hey, did you guys hear the rumor?" Pence asked as he slid into his seat beside Roxas. "There's a new kid starting school today."

"Who starts school a month into senior year?" Roxas said, burying his head in his arms and attempting to fall asleep.

"That would be tough," Olette said from her seat in front of Pence. "We should try making friends with them!"

"Three guy friends aren't enough for ya?" Hayner asked as he flicked little paper balls at Roxas' head.

"You don't know it's a guy!"

"That's what the rumors are saying. And I hear he's from the other side of the world or something." Pence said.

"Where do you get this stuff?" Hayner asked, hitting Roxas right between the eyes as the blond sat up.

Roxas snatched the half destroyed paper from Hayner's hands. "Didn't you hear? Pence _is_ the grape vine."

"Alright class," the teacher called. "Let's get settled. We have a new addition to our class today. Axel Fujiwara, Would you like to introduce yourself?"

Roxas' head snapped up and he froze. That bright red hair was unforgettable and brought to mind crackling flames devouring everything in their path. And those green eyes shining like a monster's in the dark. It was Axel. _The_ Axel. The figment of his imagination.

"Yo." the teen said with a half hearted wave. The voice was deeper but still recognizable. The movements of those too skinny arms unmistakable.

"What's up with this psycho?" Hayner whispered. "He looks manorexic, and what's with the tattoos?"

"You're just jealous cause he looks cooler then you, Hayner." Olette giggled.

"Ahem. Well, have a seat. There's an empty desk behind Roxas."

Roxas stiffened as green eyes locked onto him. There was recognition there.

"Roxas? Raise your hand, please."

He snapped out of it and shifted to stare at the back of Pence's head. Axel was already taking a step toward him but he raised his hand anyway. Time seemed to stop as he walked toward him and then Roxas's personal mental breakdown just stopped and stared at him. Every pair of eyes in the room where joining Axel's and Roxas could feel each one like it was a weight landing on his shoulders. This couldn't be happening. It just wasn't possible! "What the hell are you staring at?!" He snapped, losing the staring contest with Pence's headband to glare up at the red head. Holy crap he'd gotten tall.

Green eyes blinked in surprise, like he'd just now realized where he was and what was going on. Roxas could imagine the look he had worn just a second ago. Unfocused eyes and slack jawed. The same look he wore while Roxas's house burned.

"Sorry. . ." He mumbled. They both ignored the teacher's reprimand as Axel fell into the seat behind Roxas.

One by one Roxas felt the weight lift from his shoulders, but it wasn't long before he felt Axel's eyes burning a hole in the back of his head. Why did he keep starring?! The second hand on the clock seemed to slow to a crawl. When the bell finally rang he shot out of the classroom as fast as his legs would carry him. He didn't care about class, he didn't care about the people he plowed through, he didn't care about much of anything. When fresh air of the roof hit him, he collapsed, gasping for breathe. How could this be happening? How could Axel be _here_? He wasn't supposed to be real!

"I thought I'd find you here."

Roxas jumped but quickly relaxed when he saw it was his cousin, Namine, who had found him. "I really come here that often?"

Namine shrugged, sitting down beside him. "You seem to like high places when you're stressed." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before looking at him. "What's wrong, Roxas?"

Roxas swallowed hard and looked out over the campus. Namine was the only student at school that knew about Roxas' time in a mental institution. She knew about Axel; he'd even had her draw his picture when they were younger. Namine was the only person Roxas was able to talk to about Axel after the fire that wouldn't analyze him like his parents and therapist. "I saw Axel today."

"Really?" Namine asked, tilting her head. "I thought he said he wouldn't come again."

"It. . . it wasn't like before. He was really here. The teacher introduced him, everyone else saw him. . . and he recognized me, Nam. It was really him."

"You're sure it's not just someone who looks like him?"

"I'm sure. He's a lot taller and his hair is longer, but it's defiantly him. He's still got that crazy red hair and those eyes. . . He's got tattoos under them now. He always said he'd get them."

Namine smiled "Because kids used to say he looked like a clown?" Roxas nodded. "Well, maybe it really is the same person."

"But that doesn't make any sense! He's supposed to be a figment of my imagination. He can't be real!" Roxas said, hitting roof with his fist.

Namine climbed to her feet and wandered closer to the edge. "The person you just described seems to be very real, Roxas." she said softly. "Not everything has to make sense. Lots of things in this world don't. And," she turned back to him with a smile, "Grown ups don't always know everything."

Roxas stared at her before looking down. Could the boy he'd grown up with actually be real? Could the one person he wished he could apologize to really exist?

"I need to get back to class. I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, Namine."

She gave him a warm smile and a kiss on the cheek before going back inside.

* * *

**AN**: Holy cow, you guys are crazy! I think I'm up to almost 40 story alerts now! I just hope it alerts you to these revised chapters. As you've probably noticed, I've taken down the old chapters. You may or may not notice that I didn't meet my goal of posting the first four revised chapters. But I did want to give you guys what I have. I changed the POV to Roxas in this chapter when before I had it switch back and forth. Axel's still going to get his own chapters and dairy entries, but I'm going to try to tweak his personality a bit. I also think I'm going to add in some other forms of writing so it's not just Axel and Roxas' journals. Then you guys can get hints to the inner workings of some of the other characters as well.

I reread this, but I'm sure I still missed some typos and spelling errors. Please forgive me.

When will the next chapters be out? I'm going to try to set a deadline for Jan 15. I'm not sure if I'll make it or not, I don't hold to deadlines very well. And the next two chapters will be Axel, and I'm going to be monkeying with him till I'm happy.

Kay, Now I'm going to be a total review whore. I love it when I get a [FF Story Alert+] popping up in my inbox, but I desprately want to know what you guys think. Please please please drop me a review! I love each and every one I get!

~Kioko


End file.
